I'm not normally one to let my heart bleed over all the internet, but I'm having a not-so-hot weekend. I've just felt so incredibly anti-social and awkward the past few days, like I don't want to talk with or be with anyone, and it makes me feel so purposeless. I feel like I don't even have it in me to be super smiley or make small talk or anything.
Today we had some people over for lunch. Our house was super duper messy, which already had me stressed out, so I ran around and cleaned it, then I got to cooking. Well, I got the tomato soup going on the gas grill, the single heating unit in our kitchen that works. Five minutes later, I noticed it wasn't getting warm. The gas was out, and the guests were due to arrive any minute. In a hurry, I grabbed our old, functions-about-30-percent-of-the-time dolphin hot pad. Luckily, it turned on. Unluckily, when I lifted the huge pot of tomato soup to move it from the gas grill to the hot pad, one of the handles snapped off and tomato soup went everywhere-- the walls, over all the clean dishes, the floor. There was still enough left to heat up, except that I was distracted by how badly everything was going and I forgot about and burned the soup. (I was talented enough at this point to be doing two things at once: burning the soup and burning the toasted cheese sandwiches. Awesome.)
By this point, I wasn't really in the mood to be super social with our lunch guests and I felt like a total loser, so I just hung out and ate some of the burned soup and cleaned some stuff while Austin hung out with them.
I guess sometimes I don't really understand why I feel down. I mean, I think about my life and it's really pretty great. I live in a beautiful country and experience really interesting things every day. I have an amazing & supportive husband and best friend, who amazingly enough just about never has a bad day, or at least never has a bad attitude about it. I have hilarious sisters and some of the greatest parents I know, including a few new ones I inherited two years ago. And there are really a million other reasons for celebrating. Life is good, and most of the time I love it. I guess it was just one of those days.
Today we had some people over for lunch. Our house was super duper messy, which already had me stressed out, so I ran around and cleaned it, then I got to cooking. Well, I got the tomato soup going on the gas grill, the single heating unit in our kitchen that works. Five minutes later, I noticed it wasn't getting warm. The gas was out, and the guests were due to arrive any minute. In a hurry, I grabbed our old, functions-about-30-percent-of-the-time dolphin hot pad. Luckily, it turned on. Unluckily, when I lifted the huge pot of tomato soup to move it from the gas grill to the hot pad, one of the handles snapped off and tomato soup went everywhere-- the walls, over all the clean dishes, the floor. There was still enough left to heat up, except that I was distracted by how badly everything was going and I forgot about and burned the soup. (I was talented enough at this point to be doing two things at once: burning the soup and burning the toasted cheese sandwiches. Awesome.)
By this point, I wasn't really in the mood to be super social with our lunch guests and I felt like a total loser, so I just hung out and ate some of the burned soup and cleaned some stuff while Austin hung out with them.
I guess sometimes I don't really understand why I feel down. I mean, I think about my life and it's really pretty great. I live in a beautiful country and experience really interesting things every day. I have an amazing & supportive husband and best friend, who amazingly enough just about never has a bad day, or at least never has a bad attitude about it. I have hilarious sisters and some of the greatest parents I know, including a few new ones I inherited two years ago. And there are really a million other reasons for celebrating. Life is good, and most of the time I love it. I guess it was just one of those days.